If you think people ask annoying questions when you getting married then you have just seen the trailer. Here is the actual movie. Welcome to part 2 called “Annoying baby Questions“. I am sure you must have experienced how rudely some people try to interfere in your s*x life.
“Never ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you actually see a baby’s head coming out of her legs.” Sage advice—too bad no one ever takes it. –LifeHacker
So what do you think most married people are annoyed with? No, much to your surprise, it isn’t s*x questions people annoy you with. They don’t care if you go at it 30 times a week or once a week. But they do care about “when you are having a baby”
As if online trolls many of the relatives as well as acquaintances seem to have a vested interest in your life. At best you can survive for one year. Then they will definitely ask:
You’ve been married for so long now, when are you going to have a baby?
Too annoying, right? I can’t help but wonder if these guys get a “commissions” every time someone delivers a baby. Why else would people mess in someone else’s s*x life and intimate relationship?
Many men and especially women dread family functions and reunions just because of these annoying questions. And (god forbid) you dare say “No, I don’t plan on having a baby” you have to face the judgment, eye rolls, uffs, and never-ending lectures about biology are served to you on a silver platter.
Must read: 7 Sounds that can drive your man wild
We’ve all been interrogated by our friends, families, distant relatives and even coworkers at some point on this topic. So, what can you do? How do you actually answer such questions? And how do you stop them from annoying you with baby questions?
How Do You Respond & Put An End To These annoying Baby Questions Once And For All?
Here are some sweet, sarcastic and savage responses that will shut everyone up! The savageness of responses varies from high to low. The first responses are so savage that you will have a hearty laugh. Though I do recommend caution while using them.
1) Ask Them A Personal Question
Some people don’t even realize they are crossing a line unless you bluntly point it out. So what you can do is ask them really personal and embarrassing questions.
- “So, how’s your s*x life?”
- “Are you happy with your marriage?”
- ”When did you last have s*x?”
- “How often do you m*st*rbate?”
- “I’m not pregnant. How’s your s*x life going? Still getting any, after the kids stretched out your hoo-ha?”
They’re going to freak out by this and then you can act innocent and say “Oh, I thought since we’re getting so personal, I should also know a few personal things about you.“
2) Use Sarcasm For a free trial
A little bit of sarcasm can help you a lot! Be sarcastic, witty and smart. Keep a straight face and do the following:
- “I already have a baby” open up your phone and show them pictures of your pets. Keep talking about your pets until they get annoyed and leave. If you don’t have pets then talk about your spouse.
- “I don’t know. We might give it a go tonight.”
- “We’re having too much fun trying.”
- “Are you really asking about my s*x life with your son?” [Or nephew, best friend, etc.] Change according to who is asking
- “I’m full of sem*n right now, actually. Keep your fingers crossed for me.”
- “When the time is right. My eggs (or sp*rm) are pretty picky.”
- “I’m currently busy living my life, and being happy if I have a change of mind you’re the FIRST person I’ll call.“
- “Can I borrow yours for a test trial? I promise to try to take care of your kid” (Evil smile)
3) Just Tell Them To Shut Up!
If you’re not concerned about being polite or hurting anyone’s feelings, you can simply ask them to shut up and not intervene in your s*x life. It’s your and your partner’s decision. No one else can interfere.
- “I’m sorry, what did you say? Oh, I thought you said something else that’s completely none of your business”
- “Why? Are you finally sick of talking about yours?”
- “What answer could I give you so that you’ll stop asking?”
- “When people stop asking me all the time. So probably not for a while.”
- “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize our s*x life was dinner party conversation”
And anybody who thinks they have a say in what you should do deserves to be told otherwise.
4) Just Ignore
If you’re not in the mood to argue just ignore the person. Be creative and witty. Talk about the weather, or change the topic. You can use the following as well:
- That’s a really great question. I wish I knew the answer.
- Aww, thank you so much for caring. But I want to know about… (ask them a question about their own personal life)
- I’ll let you know when I have an answer. In the meantime, I’m sure there are more important things in your own life that you could be thinking about.
- Only God knows, and He hasn’t told me yet.
That person who keeps bugging you with all the questions is never going to make baby-related small talk with you again. We promise!
5) Turn it Around
You’re not planning to have a baby anytime soon. But people keep pestering you. And saying that you do not want to have a baby results in you getting plenty of lectures on biology. So what can you do is turn it around:
“I’ll have a kid if you pay for him/her. Would you also like to raise him/her?”
“Not today, but I’ll keep you posted.”
“I don’t know, but I’m starting my list of babysitters now. Can I count on you to take care of him/her?”
“I don’t want kids, and your questions are making me feel even more confident in that choice.”
Or simply walk away after saying “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable discussing this.”
Trust me, these lines will make the people run away with their annoying baby questions.
6) Educate Them
- Did you know that 2 out of 6 couples, who desperately want to have a child, struggle with infertility? I’m not going to tell you if I’m one of those people, but maybe you’ll think about how hurtful your question might be to someone who is.
- You know, that’s a really personal question that you shouldn’t ask everyone. Some people may be having a hard time getting pregnant, and questions like that could really make them feel bad about their situation. Learn some manners.
- Asking a rude question like that creates a lot of pressure on me/us. You can’t just snap your fingers and get pregnant. Who will deal with the responsibilities? Do not ask questions that cause trouble to others.
- Having a child is the most important decision in my life, and making that decision takes a lot of time and thought. I can’t give you an answer to something this complex.
7) Bore them with stats on The World Population Crisis
If you can’t convince them, confuse and bore them! Bring up some stats on the global population crisis and bore them with a lecture. Give them the analysis of how the world population is causing overuse of resources and the risks associated with it.
I hope these savage questions helped as well as gave you a hearty laugh. Make sure you do not annoy people by being rude and asking questions like “when will you have a baby?”
Thank you for reading. Have a great day.