Did you just have a breakup? Your girl cheated on you? Well, I’m sure you feel like its the world end for you. Your heart is broken. You can only feel the pain and loneliness of the breakup. Let’s face it the emotions which you are going through are painful and breakup hurts like hell. What went wrong?? I’m sure you tried asking that. You probably got a confusing response. You are not even sure what to do anymore. So you decided to get over your Ex and move on. So what can you do to fix your life? How can you move on from your EX to whom you loved so deeply?
The answer is simple and hard at the same time. The answer is to be a better person than you were before. What do I mean by that? You need to be a better person in order to move on from your EX that doesn’t tell me much. Don’t worry the cupid will help you move on from your Ex if you follow the step by step method of EX detoxing.
Let me elaborate on what you can do to move on from your EX:
First, take a deep breath to try to calm down. I know your heart is a mess. But you need to listen to your brain right now. Take a pen and paper and write down whatever that comes to your mind after reading the following questions.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Why do I, as a person exist, Is romance the only thing I care about?
- Is dating the only goal of my life?
- Did she really make me a better person?
- Is crying and worrying about my EX really going to help me right now?
- Is she really worth more than my happiness, friends, family, and career goals?
I hope you feel calmer after doing the above exercise. This will help you clear the unnecessary mix of emotions in your heart. And give some time to your brain to actually think and not overload with emotions.
Now let me tell you why you feel what you feel and why it hurts. The reason is: You think your girlfriend is special and why you are unable to move on from your Ex.
Reality check brother: She is just another human being. Stop thinking that she is a goddess. If you take a headcount of guys who cannot move on from their Ex because she was special. You will find at least 10-15 million Guys. So are there really 10-15 million special girls on this planet.
You see the problem here right. You feel that your girlfriend is the best girl on this planet simply because you have not met anyone else better than her. This is also the reason why girls move on easily after a breakup and guys don’t. Girls have lots of guys who are willing to take your role and you get replaced quite easily. So don’t think that she is special. She is just another girl. You are making her special in your mind and messing up your head.
So did she really love you as she said??
The answer is probably not. Else why would she suddenly stop? Remember attraction is not the same as love. True love comes after you have been with someone for more than 10 years. By that time, all attraction settles down. The emotional high goes away. By then you are two people who literally know everything about each other and you are truly family.
If she really loved you she would do everything she can to fix the problems between you and her. Not breakup and run away. It’s not easy to breakup unless you never truly loved the other person. She never loved you. It was just an attraction and not love. Understanding this is the first step to move on from your Ex.
So how do I Get over My ex fast?
Now its time to clear your mind and start fixing your life. Its not a one day process. It’s a continuous process that will fix your life. Take your time and go through each step. Only then will you be able to move on from your Ex completely. So let’s begin.
Step 1: Make a list of why you should not date her
Make a list of why you should not date your ex. Get as detailed as you can. Write it on a big paper and stick it in your bathroom and your room where you can see it daily.
You might think it’s weird or funny it’s not. Trust me it works amazingly well. Make sure the list has at least 10 points. Otherwise keep working till you reach a minimum of 10.
Whenever you feel like going back to her. Go through the list. It will help calm you down. You will keep getting emotional mood swings because of things that remind you of her. These emotions make it difficult to move on from your Ex. This is one of the ways you can stop them from making you lose control.
Step 2: Make an EX Box
No, it’s not Xbox. Its an EX box which will have everything you have about your ex. Her pics, gifts and anything related to her. Put everything you can find about her and pack the box seal tight it. And give it to your friend. Tell him “Do not give it to me under any circumstances “
This will make sure you don’t get reminded of her. It’s not full proof but does help a lot. Out of sight is out of mind.
If you are reminded of her you will keep getting reminded of the break and all the emotions you felt during the breakup. Not something I recommend to anyone.
Step 3: Stay away from her
The most important thing for you right now is distance. If your ex says that she wants to be friends say NO…!!!!
This is the number one mistake all the guys do. Why do you want to be friends with someone who broke your heart? And is/will now date another guy.
Are you an idiot? Be honest you don’t want to be friends with her you are just hoping she will regret her decision and come back to you.
What a pipe dream. Like how stupid and naive are you going to be? Harsh as it may sound. You never wanted to be friends with her. You wanted to date her. Are you really that stupid that you would hurt your career, family, and friends just to be a time pass backup for her?
Face it that’s all you ever will be. And to those who are saying you can be friends with your ex. Yes, you absolutely can. You can be friends with the devil also. But is it good for you?
Do you want your next girlfriend to be creeped out by you and your EX going on friend dates?
I personally would not date anyone who is too close with their EX-partners. Its a sign of a toxic relationship. Just imagine the headache when he/she sleeps over at their ex’s place.
Be smart and decisive. Stop trying to please everyone. Your happiness is more important. Being focused on your happiness does not make you selfish. It makes you a person with self-esteem. You need it to get over your breakup.
Step 4: Make arrangements to stay away from your EX
I know its difficult to ignore your ex when she is your colleague or classmate. You will end up seeing her even if you don’t want to.
So what can you do?
Make arrangements so that you do not see her. In school or college sit at a different place. Change your seat. You are clever enough to make an excuse and change your seat.
If you are at a job, then change your desk location and ignore her. If possible talk to your boss and say that you want your location changed as it will affect your productivity. Trust me they will listen when you say productivity. It’s their keyword.
Step 5: Join a Gym and workout.
Working out is a great stress reliever. You will be too tired to think about your ex. Listen to motivating songs. Whoever said listening to sad love songs helps needs to check his brains. It will only worsen the situation.
Motivation is the key brothers. You will feel a lot better. A better body will make you a healthy fit. You will also have better success when you date women in the future. Follow the other guides as well in order to learn the rest of the skills that will help you.
Step 6: Bros before Ho*s
Pardon the language but this is a must. Stay with your friends who will help you move on. Friends are always there for you. Many guys make the mistake of hurting their friends for their girlfriends.
Never do this mistake guys. Its a really stupid thing to do to your friends. Talk to them. Go out camping. Go out and have fun. That’s why you have friends. When you spend time with them you feel much better. Afterall everyone wants to be loved. Your friends and family are happy to do that.
Traveling with friends is the best cure to move on from your ex. Its literally the best breakup remedy.
Step 7: She is never coming back. Face the truth
Stop believing in fantasies and face the truth she does not care about you. Done. That is the truth if she really cared about you why would she hurt you and breakup with you for no good reason.
If there was a problem she could have talked to you and fixed it. She herself decided to leave you. If she can do it once she can definitely do it twice. If she cheated on you then run the other way. There are so many girls on this planet. Why do you want the lowest quality???
Raise your standards. That’s the only way you will be a better person. You don’t want a horse cart when you deserve a Lamborgini.
Step 8: Try New Things
Its the best time to learn new things. This is the time you need to improve your achievement list. Go ace a test. Get a promotion. Start your business. Work and explore all that you can do in life.
You need other things to occupy your mind. Learn some skills which will help you in life and career. Take care of your parents. Do some good things for people. Help orphans. Support a cause. The best way to better yourself is by helping others and expecting nothing in return.
Step 9: Block your ex from all social media. Period
Block your ex from all social media sites. That is the only way you will move on from your ex. Out of sight is out of mind. When you see her pics with her friends and other pics of her looking happy. The only thing you will feel is sadness and regret.
There are only a few people who truly care about you. To the point they would come running anytime you need them.
- Your parents
- One or two friends (If you are really lucky)
She is not one of them She made that choice when she broke up with you. Why would you spend any of your precious time for such a person?
To find out how much time you have left to live if you are an average man or woman, take your age and multiply it by 365. Then, subtract it from 27,375 days.
- For example, if you are 25 years old, you have 18,250 days to live (27,375 days – 9,125 (because 365 x 25 = 9,125)).
- If you are 50 you have 9,125 days.
- If you are 65, you have 3,650 days.
Can you really afford to spend time on her?
What about your goals and dreams in life?
Step 10: Do not give in to your ex addiction. Never go back to her
There will be times when she calls you or messages you. Frankly, you should just block her and be done with it.
“Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me”
She is bored and she wants entertainment. You will be playing the role of the joker. Is that what you want to be?
Note: No offense to jokers. It just seemed like the appropriate word to describe.
Step 11: Poison is Poison. Ex is Ex
You are hurt that is because she hurt you by breaking up with you. Whatever may be the reason for the breakup that does change the fact that she chose to leave you.
If she is willing to leave you when the relationship is struggling then she definitely won’t hesitate to do it again the second time. Never date an EX. It will only end up badly. With so options on this planet, why do you want to compromise?
Step 12: Success is the Best Revenge
Do not get stuck on revenge. You are better than that. When you think of revenge then you are just the same as her. Instead, be better. Be the guy who every girl dreams of dating. And yes it’s possible. I made a guide for that as well.
Just imagine the thug life situation when she becomes speechless after seeing the new you. Better yet date someone 100 times better than her. Be successful in your career. Your happiness is the most important thing for you. Never lose sight of it.
Let your success make the noise.
Step 13: Follow your passion not your ex
If you never had enough time to work on your passion now you have it. Dating takes a lot of time out of your life. You just got plenty of free time. Use it and follow your passion. Write the book you always wanted to write. Learn the skill you always wanted to learn.
Your happiness and your success depend on you. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. Dating and finding a partner is not the end goal of life. Finding your own passion is the end goal. Something that truly makes you happy. Do explore yourself.
Step 14: Times heals all your wounds
If you just broke up then it will take time for you to move on from your Ex. This guide will definitely speed up the process of you moving on. But it will still take time. Because of you constantly thinking about her in the past, your mind will naturally think of her.
You need to slowly and steadily replace her from your life. Replace her memories. Replace her completely. The more you practice the guide the faster you will heal your wounds and forget her.
Your mind and time are the only weapons that can truly save you.
Step 15: Spectator Point: Understand It.
How would you advise your friend who is going through the same thing? Think of the situation from the view of a third person. The advice you give them is the same advice you need to take.
Whenever I talk to guys. All of them ironically say the same thing.
“It’s not that simple. You do not know her. She is different. I’m sure she had some reason. I am sure I can get her back. Our situation is complicated.” Or some variation of the same.
Like wtf. You understand the irony of the situation right.
It’s not complicated guys. She dumped you because she never loved you the way you loved her. To her, you were an entertainment source. You served her purpose she got bored now its the next guy.
Never ever ever ever ever waste your love for someone who does not love you back. You should just never do that. Know your own value.
Step 16: Will I find love, Will I trust anyone again?
Yes but not easily. And that’s the best thing.
You believed her when she said she loved you. Now you know she didn’t love you the way she said. This mistake you made will make you smarter. Now you will pay attention if what she says and what she does makes sense or not. Breakup is the best life lesson to help you become more mature.
Being smart requires you to make mistakes. Breakup teaches you how to be smarter and more mature while selecting your partners. How will you learn without them?
Never make the same mistake twice.
Step 17: Say No to rebounds
Rebounds sound like a good idea. And for some time you will enjoy it as well. I mean the romance and the physical part.
But what about the future. You never really liked her. You just used her like toilet paper. That’s the reality, isn’t it?
Also, I know the type of women men choose when they want to rebound. Its women with good looks and who have insecurities or are easy. It’s unfair to her and you just made another mistake and ruined someone’s life. And then you will breakup with them. Because you never really loved them in the first place.
That just made you the same as your ex. Is that how you want to be?
Step 18: Say no to addictions
Do not become an addict. Many guys in order to escape the pain become addicts. be in drugs drinking or some other addiction.
The pain will always make you stronger and it’s necessary for you to grow.
Broken hearts, hungry stomachs, and empty wallets teach the best lessons in life. Work hard and breakthrough. You are stronger than you know.
Step 19: There are plenty of fish in the ocean
There are around 7.8 billion people on this planet. At least 4 billion options. Out of which you take out the young and the old and the married and the ones who are in a relationship.
You still have around a billion people left who are single. Now the number of people close to you will at least be a million.
Just imagine. You have a million options. Stop crying for one when there is no shortage.
If you learn the skills of dating. Then you will easily get any girl you want. You just need to make sure that she is worth it and put some time and effort.
Keep your standards high.
Step 20: Seek professional help
If you are feeling suicidal or trying to harm yourself. Or have fallen in chronic depression. Seek help. Tell your parents. Go to a specialist who helps people deal with such issues personally. There will be plenty of people you can help you with their therapy sessions and more professional one on one help.
It’s okay to ask for help. Your happiness has no price. Money can be earned. But you cannot get back the time you lost. Move on from your breakup.
I hope you got the ray of hope you needed to move on from your ex. It’s never easy. It’s simple but not easy. Also, a request to all readers send this to friends who are going through a breakup. They need it as well. Help each other. If you have questions about breakup and moving on then comment them below. I would be happy to help.
Never give up. Work hard and let your success make the noise..!!!